I Surrender

What if we surrender? What if we relinquish control?

Ladies, I'm going to invite you into the following thoughts that I have been wrestling with for a long time, and I want to share what I’m learning. 

What if we let the man in our life LEAD? What if we stopped focusing on what he’s not doing and stepped back to let him step up into his GOD-GIVEN ROLE to make the decisions for our family?


What if we settled into our role as his helpmate? Equally important, by the way. But these God-given roles are POWERFUL and what I am learning, friends, is that when we try to override these roles, and take control because we are fearful, or insecure, or don’t have faith, we mess everything up. We destroy the very relationship we vowed to cherish. 

You know, I thought I was letting my husband lead for the first 10 years of our marriage, but it wasn’t until now when our family has personally walked through some hard things, in this season of our life, God has truly stepped in and showed me that I was holding my husband back. I was not allowing him to lead our family the way he wanted. And no matter how it goes, good or bad, I signed up for the ride. I VOWED to LOVE him and CHERISH him, no matter what. You see, what I’ve learned is, my husband doesn’t answer to me, he answers to God. 

And I will be honest, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Fully surrendering. But I trust my God, I trust his design for marriage, and I trust this man that I vowed "for better or worse; in sickness and in health; for richer or poorer."

And guess what ladies? He is stepping up to the job! He just needed some space. So please, don’t wait until some crisis comes along -- like health issues or loss of a job -- to force you to give him that space. Just give him the space, support, and encouragement of knowing that you believe in him and that he is the leader of your home. It’s not about his ego either. This is about him stepping into his God-given role. 

Married Couple

Let’s love our husbands the way we are called to and show our children what a loving, respectful marriage looks like to better equip them for their God-given role as adults. 

We have all the instructions laid out right in front of us in Ephesians 5:21-24

“Wives and Husbands

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

And again, we see it in 1 Peter 3:1-2  “Wives, respect and obey your husbands in the same way. Then the husbands who do not obey the word of God will want to know God. They will want to know God because their wives live good lives, even though they say nothing about God. 2 They will see that you live holy lives and respect your husbands.”

God’s word is so powerful, and I encourage you to really absorb and receive it. Allow it to transform your life and your marriage.

1 comment

  • Amen, Mandy! You are spot on with this! It can be such a hard lesson to learn. As women, we’re raised by well-meaning parents to be independent, do for ourselves, and not rely on anyone else. These lessons were taught to me even in a Godly home, with parents who loved the Lord.
    But the first line of the scripture above says, “Submit to one another.” We both have our place of authority in the family and even when it’s hard, we’ve got to give our husbands the chance to do their God-given role!
    Thanks for the encouragement!

    Susan J. Dawson

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